Lots of folks are posting articles and templates to fill out with information about how to help us help ourselves. Or, perhaps to "fix" ourselves.
And in general, we are taking the bait. We believe we deserve better. Read more...
We, as a general group of people, are looking for ways to get better. For what reason?
*Improve self esteem
*Improve our relationships
*Look better
*Feel better
*Get a better job
*Make more money
You can fill in the blank for your own search.
But here's the problem. The more you (or I) focus upon yourself, the more you will see yourself as coming up short of the mark of perfection. It's a spiral. Personal goal setting, or personal development in general leads to introspection. ie, turning a spotlight on ourselves. This, in turn, leads to a self-centered focus.
In a recent blog post, John Carlson observed the following:
Your ego is like a snarling little yap dog. Always pissed off, or looking for reasons to go into a hissy fit.
I'm telling you, after years of seeing all sides of this: Your ego is not doing you any favors.That's pretty graphic. But the part about "your ego... is an idiot" really struck home.
Your ego...
... is an idiot.
And it's robbing you blind...
OK, so this is more of a personal rant. But I can see others with the same self-centered focus.
"How can I sell more... How can I convince so-and-so... How can I - I - I."
It's time to take a different outlook. Revise your personal goal program and move your focal point so that it is no longer looking inward. Instead of being ego-centered, we need to start being "others-centered".
This is not something I just made up. It dawned on me recently that Zig Ziglar said this over and over again, "If you will just help enough people get what they want, you will have everything you want."
I bought that tape series over 30 years ago when I first tried to set up a personal goal setting plan. Listened to it hundreds of times.
Just this week it finally made sense... duh! What an idiot I am.
But, hey, it could have taken longer, I guess.
Most recently (and the reason for the "lightbulb experience") I have been reading Go-Givers Sell More by Bob Burg and John David Mann. The entire book is about how obnoxious us self-centered people are and why we fail to obtain... whatever it is we are trying to obtain, especially sales.
Go-Givers Sell More is a sequel to The Go-Giver. You should read them both because it will give you a new perspective on how to become more successful, not only with sales, but also with relationships and anything else related to dealing with people.
Personally, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. The pressure of performing so that I look good to others just ain't there right now. It feels real good.
We (I) need to rewrite our personal goal program with a new perspective.
I am a huge fan of personal development and personal goal setting. I just have missed the mark.
Hoping you don't do the same.
http://www.goalsetting101.info
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