Holding things in or keeping them to yourself is simply not the best way to go. Why? Because that means you are willingly shouldering the burden on your own. It silently says you are prepared to absorb and own all the tension by yourself. This is not a self-loving act for anyone. Additionally, you are showing others what you hold as your self-image.
Likely, you are holding back because you choose to avoid the tension of a confrontation, which may or may not lead to conflict. All the while, your inner tension is mounting. So there is tension regardless of which route you choose to pursue.
Here are three steps to speaking up that manage your tension while reliving your inner angst:
First, feel into what is disturbing you. What is it? Which emotions are kicked up? To what degree? Get clear words in place that express your distress, disappointment or whatever you are disturbed about.
Next, center in your heart. Create an intention you wish to fulfill by your initial actions and throughout the discussion. For example, it might be that you wish to act from kindness toward all involved, including yourself. Or it might be to stand firm in your beliefs, but remain flexible around the outcome. This is the step that most helps you avoid conflict.
Then, speak up. Release any attachment to a particular outcome which you might find most desirable. Instead, set a tone that promotes collaborative resolution where all contribute to the result.
There are so many rewards from taking this approach. You are releasing your tension to allow for an equitable resolution. You also gain self-respect and self-confidence from expressing yourself. Not to mention that you get experience. Each time you use this method, it becomes easier. And then comes the ultimate benefit: you have your inner peace once again.
To get more of Sarah's insights into living the content, comfortable and confident introverted or highly sensitive life, go to http://www.InnerVantage.com. Follow her blog at http://www.InnerAdVenturer.com
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