Would you call yourself angry? This article is aimed at helping people who want to control their anger.
Have you thought about 'anger management'? Let's pretend for the moment that you are an angry person and that I'm writing this to help you better understand yourself and better control your aggression.
GOOD NEWS
The good news is you can learn a lot about understanding your feelings and a lot about controlling the Thoughts, Actions and Situations that make you feel angry.
UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF IS THE FIRST STEP IN GREATER SELF-CONTROL.
Take a look at yourself
How Good do you feel about you?..
How's your self esteem...are you easily offended?
Are you perhaps too quick to blame others when things go wrong?
Does everything revolve around 'me' in your head?
Perhaps you feel insecure and aggressive behaviour too easily follows?
Remember understanding yourself is the first step in greater self-control..now is the time to start on the exciting journey of self-improvement.
TROUBLE CAN SEEM TO FOLLOW YOU
If you are angry and over-aggressive you've probably discovered by now how it can get you into trouble in our kind of society. Perhaps you are easily provoked? Perhaps you are too easily-provoked? Too quick to take offence?
I think we should say right now that controlling anger doesn't mean becoming submissive...controlling your aggression means (what it says) putting you in control. But making you more assertive, less aggressive.
Perhaps a better word for how we often want to be is assertive...not aggressive but assertive...
ASSERTIVE IS OFTEN BETTER THAN AGGRESSIVE.
Here's the difference...
..we try to aggressively control another person with force or the threat of force....with assertiveness we try to control them by sheer power of personality..often by the use of words. 'I think you should do something because I think it's for the best '...put it another way..'You catch more Flies with sugar than with vinegar..'
Do we need to be aggressive? Is it something, like the sex drive, which needs to be satisfied? Is sport a socially acceptable outlet for aggression?
And (like sex) can it be satisfied in a socially acceptable way...through sport, boxing, rugby, football, rock-climbing
No surprises Sex and Aggression are close... sex and aggression are close together in the brain...and they both make our bodies change in a similar way.....when either sexually or aggressively aroused our bodies produce similar hormones, scientists like Kinsey have found
'WAR..WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? ABSOLUTELY NUTHIN.. (EDWINN STARR)...AGGRESSION..WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?
...well it's a useful survival mechanism..Lots of experiments with animals and humans indicate aggression is hard-wired in us but probably only comes out when provoked.
Aggression is a primitive instinctive reaction...usually kept under control (all this is happening in the brain). If something or somebody seems threatening the brain lets go and the hormones flow...aggressive behaviour follows. So as a survival mechanism good...but often not acceptable in modern society leading to prison, a criminal record, a broken marriage...
Aggression is an important part of the relationships between men and women and needs to be carefully controlled if you want to be happy with each other. Both sexes show aggressive behavior but in response to different situations.
So how can we control this powerful force so it's a help and not a hindrance?
This is a large and complicated subject. Difficult to cover it all on one page. Watch my website at http://www.englishpsychologist.com for more articles and to add your comments.
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